There are so many incredible reasons to love Texas...giant donuts, funny accents, Mark Cuban, Mexican food, and the list goes on. However, one thing stands out above the rest in the great state of Texas. Rednecks, of course.

You've undoubtedly been scratching your head wondering, "Gee willikers, why does today's music suck?" Well my friends and fellow humanoids, $toney Jones has come to the rescue once again. We'll hold for your applause...

Ok, now that that's out of the way, we'd like to introduce you to your new favorite song as well as your new favorite dance all thanks to Dr. $toney 'Scones' Jones Esquire.

Surgeon general's WARNING: this video may cause immediate arousal, dance-pants syndrome, and type 17 diabetes. Enjoy.

Introducing for the first time, "Do Dat" by $toney Jones off his latest LP: $toney's on FIRE: Vol. 30

Happy Belated Turkey Day! $toney Jones has been busy filming a new music video...here it is for your viewing pleasure:

"If you want to be the best, you have to learn from the best." - Stoney Jones

Taking time out of his busy hairdressing and erotic dance schedule, Stoney has graciously crafted a quick tutorial on what it means to have true acting versatility. Click on the gorgeous mug below to see a video of how a real actor gets it done.

Click Me Face!

Ipso facto, Bob's your uncle. That's right you debutantes it's time for some straight up language lessons from $toney Jones. If you have never heard of the L-Language or seen it in action, prepare to be shocked, awed, but mostly aroused.

More importantly, there's a message in this video so PAY ATTENTION and we could be sending you $500. Get it? Got it? Good.

Half of the USA and 3/4 of Estonia all know that $toney Jones is a master rap magician. Well, tell that to 2/3 of Japan which only knows $toney Jones the country artist (aka Stone Brookside). It's time for us to finally settle the score. Check out the $toney vs Stone videos below and vote for your favorite.

Until Next Time,
$toney Jones aka Stone Brookside aka Dr. Hammer aka The Boosty One

With the oh-so-spooky holiday of All Hallow's Eve almost upon us, I thought I would give everyone a little sneak peak at my new costume...

Do you ever see a picture of celebrities chatting it up and wonder what the heck they're talking about? Well luckily for you, you've got the StoneyJones.com team here to save the day.  Below each of these celeb photos, is an audio file picked up by our highly sensitive microphones.  Take a listen to finally find out what celebs really talk about.

Tune in next time and be sure to click the LIKE button below!

Is there anything worse than a busy Friday? Come on this is the day of the week we've been looking forward to. We don't have time for nonsensical rants from people, this is a day best served with a glass of shut the hell up. Instead, it's often like a swift kick to the face and groin...kinda like this

If you're having a rough start, enjoy some of these interweb gems care of Stoney Jones:

"Blurred Lines" making waves worldwide.

John Daly keepin' it real. Real drunk.

Of course this guy's name is Carl. Stay dreamy Carl.

Kaboom. You newlyweds just got photobombed.

Oh Slick Billy, haven't you learned your lesson?

The other night, while watching the boob-tube (aka YouTube's ugly cousin), my eyes were exposed to an overwhelming number of commercials.  Some say there needs to be more truth in advertising and we completely agree. Enough is enough America, aren't you fed up with all of these bogus ads? We think it's time that advertising companies go with a more honest and direct route. 

To give the MadMen of advertising a better idea of what we're talking about, we figured we'd provide a few suggestions of our own....