Stay Connected -->
  • BLOG/HOME
  • WHO IS $TONEY?
  • ADVICE...YOU NEED IT
  • $TONEY SWAG

You Ain't Nothin' But A Houndogg

11/25/2012

 
houndogg.wav
File Size: 1323 kb
File Type: wav
Download File
Picture
Above is a tasty little sampling of a new album I'm putting together in memory of the great one, King Elvis.  It'll be a rap/country/indie record that will more than likely win at least 20 awards (and that's a conservative estimate). I'm guessing my little Elvis kick has to be in part due to the amount of peanut butter-banana-bacon sandwiches I've been consuming lately.  Mmmm mmm mmm...tastes like Memphis. 

Enjoy my houndoggies,
Stoney 'Elvis Jr' Jones

Let Us Give Thanks

11/21/2012

 
Picture
With the gluttonous holiday of Thanksgiving upon us, I thought it would be a great time to reflect upon all of the things which I love so dearly.  Here is a list of things I am most thankful for this year:

- People who drive Smart Cars. Thank goodness we have you to remind us that not everyone on the road is a heterosexual.
- Hangovers. You are a blissful reminder that gin and Yellow Tail do not mix.
- John Mayer. Thank you for being such a successful douche. You give the folks from Jersey Shore hope.
- Black Friday. I find you highly offensive, but I'm thankful you exist because I love to watch news footage of fat women grappling over a Furby.
- Furbys. Yup, the awful toy is back. Thank you for stifling ingenuity amongst toy makers.
- Arizona and it's residents. You are a big desert full of old people and people who weren't smart enough to keep going West to California. 
- Asians. I'm so thankful for all of your wondrous cuisine but I'm even more thankful for the brilliant people you continue to bring onto this planet....Psy, William Hung, Kobayashi, Jackie Chan, and these dudes:
Picture
The Jackie Clan was prepping for their big brawl with the Far East Movement.

Go out and be thankful for all of the great creatures and creations around you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!
$toney 'Dark Meat' Jones

    Drop a line & let us know what you're thankful for:

Submit

oppa $toney style

11/19/2012

 

After receiving about 1,100 requests, I decided to throw together a little rice fest of my own. I present to you the chorus of, "$tonegum Style". 
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,
$toney 'Yu lik-a

gangnumstoney_style.wav
File Size: 1323 kb
File Type: wav
Download File

"It's just like, it's just like...a mini mall"

11/16/2012

 

Hell yeah! I think someone found my long lost Uncle...

Oppa Gangnam Style

11/14/2012

 
Picture
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I've been on a 2-month South Korean binger. Holy mother of all things Kimchi!  I know by know even unborn children are being exposed to the mystical beast that is Psy. As soon as I heard his majestic voice, I knew my life would never be the same. Who wouldn't feel the same after hearing his line: "I’m a guy,
A guy who is as warm as you during the day,  A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down". So kind, yet such a BadAss. Needless to say, I was so moved by the soul of this Seoul-ian, I packed up and lived on the streets of Anyang (in the Gyeonggi-do province) in hopes that I too would be infused with the power of Korea!

With all this Psy-hoopla going around, I can't help but wonder about our chubby little Korean brother, Shin Jae Wa (Jae Shin for you round-eyes).  I met Shin in Southern California...yeah, no surprise there. He was a light-hearted chubby boba-lover who liked to talk about rice. That is not even a joke, he really would go on for hours just talking about rice. Hell, he even made a cartoon in college called "The Life Of A Rice". Trust me, you can't make this crap up.  Anyways, our little Korea vanished sometime around 2005 and there is much speculation about what happened to him. Some think he is teaching English to poor people back in his hometown of Seoul. Others believe that he is locked in a psych-ward somewhere....WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE! Psych-ward? Psych...Psy. Could it be!?!?!? Has our favorite little Korean mascot, Jae Shin somehow morphed into a worldwide phenomenon? There is no way of knowing, but I would not be surprised if Shin actually was Psy. The only way we'll ever know is if his next big hit is titled, "The Life Of A Rice".

Haeng Un,
Stoney 'na chwi-hae-sseo' Jones

    Whether...

    you're a man, woman, rhino, lemon, or robot, you're bound to find something just for you. ONLY on stoneyjones.com

    Bast Plogs

    June 2016
    February 2015
    January 2015
    October 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

Powered by
✕