The following is a short story (of sorts) written by $toney 'Abney' Jones...enjoy you damn hippie liberals...
"AHHH fuck it," said Bobby Wade. "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired," he trailed off as he went to the basement where he works. He has worked at this fucking job for over 10 years now and he is beginning to lose control of his life. "Time for a change" he thought to himself in the dark musty basement where he sat on a old cold garbage can . Bobby and his wife have recently been seeing a marriage counselor due to lack of magic in the bedroom and that really pissed Bobby off. "I can't even please my slut of a wife, what the hell is happening to me?!?" he thought. On top of that his son is a loner and wont even talk to Bobby. What really was pushing Bobby to the very edge of the cliff though, was that prick Donny Haskins in accounting. How did that mother fucking ass clown get promoted to be the head mouse and I'm still back here making fucking pepperoni pizza's for hundreds of screaming little bastard kids?!
"Hey Bobby!" yelled his boss from the top of the stairs, "we need you back up here these kids are hu-un-gry and the pizzas aren't going to cook themselves. Hyuck hyuck," his boss chuckled. "AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Bobby screamed into his towel then he took a couple deep breaths and went back up to the kitchen. Then, out of nowhere Donny comes up behind Bobby in his brand new mouse costume and says, "Hey hey there Bobby turn that frown upside down and get those pizzas going...theses kids are hu-un-gry!" Bobby snapped..."FUUUUCK YOU!!" He punched Danny in the face spinning the mouse head of the costume around.
"I am supposed to be the mouse, not YOU!" Bobby shouted. Meanwhile the ordeal spilled out into the dining area where the kids are now screaming but not because they're having fun, they are screaming now because Bobby has gone completely nuts and just punched their lovable big fluffy mouse in the face. Bobby rips the head of the mouse costume off and runs out the door screaming out random words like someone you would see holding a sign saying 'will work for food' on the side of the road.
As Bobby is yelling and screaming running up and down the sidewalk, Danny begins chasing him. Once Danny catches up, he tackles Bobby to the ground. Motioning to the mouse head, Danny says: "I believe that's mine. I earned it." As Danny begins to walk back to the restaurant he turns back looks at Bobby all dirty and scraped and says, "Hey Bobby you will never be the head mouse cause you're too much of a pussy."
"Hey Bobby!" yelled his boss from the top of the stairs, "we need you back up here these kids are hu-un-gry and the pizzas aren't going to cook themselves. Hyuck hyuck," his boss chuckled. "AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Bobby screamed into his towel then he took a couple deep breaths and went back up to the kitchen. Then, out of nowhere Donny comes up behind Bobby in his brand new mouse costume and says, "Hey hey there Bobby turn that frown upside down and get those pizzas going...theses kids are hu-un-gry!" Bobby snapped..."FUUUUCK YOU!!" He punched Danny in the face spinning the mouse head of the costume around.
"I am supposed to be the mouse, not YOU!" Bobby shouted. Meanwhile the ordeal spilled out into the dining area where the kids are now screaming but not because they're having fun, they are screaming now because Bobby has gone completely nuts and just punched their lovable big fluffy mouse in the face. Bobby rips the head of the mouse costume off and runs out the door screaming out random words like someone you would see holding a sign saying 'will work for food' on the side of the road.
As Bobby is yelling and screaming running up and down the sidewalk, Danny begins chasing him. Once Danny catches up, he tackles Bobby to the ground. Motioning to the mouse head, Danny says: "I believe that's mine. I earned it." As Danny begins to walk back to the restaurant he turns back looks at Bobby all dirty and scraped and says, "Hey Bobby you will never be the head mouse cause you're too much of a pussy."
