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Gosh Damn Applebee's...

4/6/2013

 
So, the other day, my lovely lady and I were enjoying some 1/2 off apps and having a delightful little time at our neighborhood Applebee's when a handful of pre-pubescent teenagers decided to start talking some smack on yours truly. Let me first give you a little background....

Started the day out by going kayaking through some back water swamps where we watched a few manatees and various other Floridian wildlife. During our jaunt, we enjoyed a nice casual 6-pack and worked on our tans. On our rendezvous back to the Casa del Stoney, we decide to stop for some apps and margaritas. So, there we are sitting and enjoying a basket of onion rings when these little punks decided to start yammering about how I looked Chinese or maybe I was possibly wasted. Now I already mentioned that the beers we consumed were CASUAL, which of course means that they do not have any inhibiting affects...hence the casualness to their nature. Anyways, I was listening in as they debated on just how Chinese I might actually be. I helped things along by giving my finest Asian accent ("App-erbees has a tha best drink spe-shers"). They ate it up like hot cakes and as they left I decided to give them what they asked for.

I headed outside to the parking lot where they loaded up into their mommy's minivan. As I walked up to the driver's side of the car, I stood in my best kung-fu stance and I jump kicked the side view mirror off their car. I turned to the side of the van where all 3 kids were sitting with their mouths wide open, I clasped my hands together and gave them the appropriate head bow. As I stood up, the mom was on her phone (presumably calling the fuzz). Before turning away, I looked at each terrified youngster and shouted, "HOW YOU LIKE MY DUCK SAUCE NOW ROUNDEYE?!?!?".

Needless to say, I'm no longer welcome at our neighborhood Applebee's. Oh well, I guess you win some, you lose some. Also, in late-breaking news, I am actually 1/64th Chinese!!! Just found out my great great grandfather had a friend who was from Beijing, ipso facto, those kids may have been onto something.

My Chinese Bloodline

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Stoney DipSum Jones
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