- Make dirty charity love to a homeless woman or man
- Wear edible underwear to work. Screw that "2:30 feeling" and 5 hour energy, this'll get your motor running.
- I hand out free heart candies to strangers as they try and walk down the street
- I make sweet pink lemonade spiked with Moonshine and I leave it out on the sidewalk with a sign that reads: "Free Lemonade. May You Have A Sweet Valentine's".
- I go to the local homeless shelter and I rescue as many cats as possible. After 2 days, I release them all on a nearby beach.
- And last, but certainly not least, I always make reservations for 2 at a really pricey steakhouse. After waiting at my table for about 30 minutes, I fake a few tears and tell the waiter/waitress that I must've gotten stood up. Great way to get a free meal!!!
aka Dr. Slacks
aka $toney Jones Esquire (not sure what Esquire even means...hey, don't judge me)