"I am the man who shall judge them and I shall wear skinny jeans"
- Stoney '45 Gold Medals' Jones
I spend the first 3-days crying and weeping after watching the Opening Ceremonies.
After those first heartfelt days, I have to do lots of catching up as I've already missed so much.
As a standard, I usually go on a bender and I begin huffing glue while imaging that I am competing in every single event that comes my way. And yes, like you, I also think I could do everything that I'm seeing on NBC.
Ok, so it may not be as hectic as you would have expected, but I'm a busy guy - so quit hating and enjoy Pure Magic: London Olympics 2012
BADMINTON: Whoa, put your excitement back in your sweatpants. I know we all love to watch REAL athletes as they blast shuttlecocks back and forth. Nothing makes me sweat harder than Badminton, except maybe...
If you were nodding your head in agreement, go ahead and give yourself a 70% punch to the arm.
Equestrian: not sure what event it is, but they honestly have an event where a person just trots around a beach volleyball court. I'm either the smartest man alive for not knowing what the hell they were doing or the dumbest for watching the entire thing live on my computer...crap.
However, after watching this, I can honestly say that this is something that would benefit positively from the use of bath salts and/or meth.
Water Polo: if you're a chick, then this sport has dudes in speedos. If you're a dude, you might watch someone drown. These guys are no joke, don't let their water earmuffs fool you.
Fencing: Not much to say other than the fact that nobody in their right mind watches this.