"Hello, my name is Shiloh and I am your brand new electronic alligator!!"
- Cue Theme Music (I'm thinking something like this: SWEET JAM)
"From this point forward every little move you make will be monitored and evaluated by me. Basically, all of your actions and decisions will be mine. If you go to the police or tattle on me, I will stab your beady little eyes out with my viciously sharp claws. Crying and peeing your pants will not be tolerated......so stop doing both right now. Also I like to drink and smoke so go to Mommy's purse and Daddy's liquor cabinet and get me some smokes and make me a drink."
"Ahhh much better..."
Voice Over - "Buy your new Electronic Alligator TODAY!!! or else..."