Snappin' necks and cashin' checks

So, I've obviously been M.I.A. for the past week and change as I haven't updated the site. After receiving over 69 million texts/voicemails/tweets/emails/faxes/etc, I've come to let you all know I'm the next Denzel.
Feast your eyes, ears and loins on my debut:

If you're interested in booking me for an upcoming promotional piece, please contact my agent's production company at friendshipgoldfish@gmail.com.

Deuces,
$toney 'Academy Award-Winning' Jones