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What Is Happening? Things Dudes Should Stop Doing Now

10/22/2013

 

Let's first start this off by saying that we here at StoneyJones are in no way shape or form fashion experts. But we are guys. REAL guys. Guys who don't take up more than 3 square feet in a closet. Guys that only use one drawer in a bathroom. Guys that burp, scratch, and fart. Ok, so now you know where we're coming from, let's dive into what is making us so confused/frustrated.  Here are some things we continue to see more and more of....all of which need to stop ASAP.

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No. No. No. Skinny jeans on a guy? What in the world? Why is this something that people continue to readily accept?  Do people not realize that guys aren't designed physically for these types of pants?  In the history of the world, how many times do you ever recall hearing a bunch of women say, "Ooooh, did you see his bulge? I'm going to get his number."

This should have never become trendy and should stop now. For the love of everything holy.

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What's that you say? You wanted to draw attention to your crack? Nah, you must be mistaken cause you're a fricking guy.

Clean it up America. Geez.

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Guy Selfies. When and why are these trending? Duck faces aside, no one needs to see a close-up of any dude's mug. Period. Period. Seriously, period.

Editorial note: We love Macklemore, but even he pulls the 'stone-cold douche face' when taking a selfie. The word 'selfie' alone should deter any real men from ever taking one of these.

Stoney Jones Note: $toney Jone$ does in fact take selfies...however, his are a way to mock those that actually try to look hard/cool/ripped/etc.

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Dudes in sweaters. Uh, what? Really, guys are out in public wearing this and they AREN'T over the age of 65?!? Seriously?

Nice sweater Tom, did you get a free crochet lesson when you purchased it?

You should only wear a sweater if you're collecting social security OR if it's a Cosby sweater like this....

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Snoop Lion. We heard he loves Jell-O Pudding.

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