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You call that a celebration?!?

7/24/2012

 
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There is only one word that can truly encompass my birthday yesterday: EPIC. Things got off to a bang, quite literally, as my neighbors decided to light off fireworks at 6am. I figured they were starting their StoneyJones Day a bit early, but I was not going to judge. To each his/her own, right?  Since the commotion from the fireworks had already got me out of bed, I decided to start my day like any other with a good hour-long session of pilates followed by a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. After breakfast, I checked my email which proved to be pretty amazing. Thanks to 'chovny, I was full of excitement and figured I'd fire up the chopper and go for a ride (see photo).  I shot down to the liquor store (pun intended) to pick up some Gin and a couple of 40's.  When I pulled up to the store, an old Plymouth Belvedere pulled up and this midget asked if I wanted to go to the carnival.  As much as I like carnies, I thought better of it and told him to get bent.  Walking out of the liquor store all I could think of was, "how was that little ass guy driving such a huge car?" Then, of course, I remembered that clowns usually don't travel alone.

After returning home, I received an urgent phone call from my estranged cousin, who also happens to be the Mayor of Boogertown, NC.  He informed me that I would need to pack up all my things immediately as he had knowledge that certain people of interest were looking for me.  As I was gripped with panic and started heading for the door, I heard him say that at least 7 bigfoots (or is it bigfeet??) were headed my way.  I don't think I would have been so easy to fool had it not been for the 8 shots of gin I had just consumed.

The stress of the call from my cousin lead me to the airport where I hopped on a plane to Saltillo, Mexico.  After doing countless tequila shots on my connecting flight through Texas, I wound up at a bull fight late last night. After countless drunk texts between me and my man Val Kilmer, I decided to call it a night and wound up sleeping on the street next to this guy:

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Moral of the story: crazy things happen on StoneyJones Day so be ready for anything. I'm back stateside now and I'm currently nursing my hangover. Hope you all had a happy and blessed STJ Day!
Viva el toro!!!
Stoney 'el cucuy' Jones

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